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Whose Christmas is it Anyway?
No sooner had I finished carving the pumpkin and looting the trick or treat bag, then the shopping malls, radio and television stations began to remind me that "there are only 50 more shopping days until Christmas". As I stand in line at a local coffee shop, I hear the common grumble about how commercial Christmas has become. If find myself asking, "Whose Christmas is this anyway", and "really, is this the Christmas I want?" It seems like even before I have a chance to decide how I want my Christmas to be I am being told what to buy, what to do, and what little time I have left to do it.
What is the true spirit of this holiday season for you? If you could be the architect of how you and your family constructed the holidays, what would be important? For many of us it would be about honouring family and friends and opportunity to connect, to share a meal, to share a gift from the heart, to create a time of intimacy with those we love. For others it can also be a time of the year when we stop the frantic pace of our lives and acknowledge our spirituality through our religious communities or in our own private rituals.
Holidays can also be difficult. It can be a particularly painful time of year, when we watch others around us surrounded by family and loved ones and feel the profound sense of loss of a partner, friend, colleague or child. Maybe, it is a time of year when we are far away from our country or communities and find that the holiday season creates a more poignant sense of loneliness. Whatever our circumstances, it is a season where memories both pleasant and painful can be stirred up inside us.
Be the architect of the season. I believe that the holiday season provides us with the opportunity to reflect on what is important to us and to choose ways to express these values to ourselves, our families and friends, and our community. We may do this by continuing or rekindling the traditions and rituals that we value from our families or our religious communities. I was raised by a Jewish father and a Catholic mother so Christmas and Hanukkah were a part of this season for me. However, it wasn't until a few years ago that I acknowledged both religious traditions by serving matzo ball soup and fish on Christmas Ever. It allowed me the opportunity to talk to my children and friends about what the meal represented to me and to tell stories of the richness of my religious heritage. It created a time of intimacy for me with my family and had nothing to do with what we had placed under the tree.
So, think about what is important for you during this time of year. Consider ways that you may be able to reflect personal values through traditions or rituals. Make sure the next time you hear Bing Crosby singing, "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, everywhere I go" that the Christmas you see around you is one of your own design.